Sasuke Kills A Mary Sue
by Alcopop
Summary: A story like this doesn't exactly hit you over the head with its originality, instead it plunges into your skull like a rail road spike. I must convince you, you'll be disgusted by the typical, overachieving, exquisite mary sue you're about to read.


Fanfiction is the largest hunting grounds for Mary Sues.

A Mary Sue is a female character that is constantly having 'hawt online secks' with multiple male characters. She is usually based on the Authors self-appearance or personality. In each chapter she will always find true love, save the world and have more 'hawt secks'. These poorly written stories are more than likely written by pubescent teen girls around the age of thirteen.

Haha please **review**! Even hate emails such as:  
-uR sUcH a NoOb. U sUck at wRiting  
-go keel urself!! stoopid  
-My Sue is btr thn U!  
-haha I pooted :)  
are welcome! comment

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**ZOMG im a hottiez!!111**

**S**uddenly Mary Sue heard something, like a deer in a magical forest her head sprung up on full alert. The beautiful warrior-like vein on her forehead began to pulsate as she quickly realized that she was tied to a chair in complete darkness, with nothing but an empty potato sack covering over her deliciously naked body. _'Oh my gods! My clothes are gone!' _said the genius to herself while fluffing her sexy volumed mane that changed colors whenever the moon came out.

Since the moon rose and set everyday, her hair would change as well. On Mondays she was a fiery bombshell blond ready to explode. On Tuesdays she was an asparagus green. When Wednesdays came around she was a Prussian blue marine. Then on Thursdays and Fridays her hair was a platinum super silver. On Saturdays, only when the moon was full, her hair would grow into a shimmering midnight raven black. Then on Sundays her hair would warp into a waist length, classic brown espresso; dipped with a tint of sparkling pink cherry blossom.

Mary was so beautiful, so suicidally gorgeous.

Her most cursed feature was her naturally, sexy, longing for, almond shaped eyes. She had perfect eyebrows and eyelashes that outlined her face, influencing her appearance, only making her more beautifully gorgeous. The eccentric, dazzling, rare combination of colors in her eyes compliment her charming elegance even more. Her eyes were a twany ocean blue, indian red, honeydew, ghost, carrot orange, emerald green, aquatic pumpkin, cornflower, twinkling powder black, shy indigo, peacock, purple orchid, titanium shimmering star and misty peach.

All the gay colors that kept dancing around her only made homosexuals want to go straight, and have hawt dirty secks with her. Lots and lots of secks.

Because everyone wanted to be Mary, she had to make sure that she was able to learn every martial art in the tiny world she lived in. Even when she lived in America she impossibly possessed a rare Kekkai Genkai, that nobody knew about except for her best friend, Meg, who told everyone. Mary possessed the deadly Nymph Sprite Shari-Bakkugan. This cursed gift gave her the ability to take down every evil person involved in the killing of her long, lost, randomly Japanese named twin, Kei Shimpo Toe Sue.

Since the tender age of seven Mary Sue had been tracking down an evil heinous organization called the akatsuki who popped out of the television and slaughtered her whole family.

Because she never held aggressions inside of her, she promised that she would physically murder each Akatsuki by herself. They raped her father, petted her cat Chiko, stole all the vegetables from her holy fairy garden she planted herself, and destroyed all the Indian convenient stores in America. Since she was so depressed she went on a crash diet of only fun dip and water and went anorexic. The gruesome fun dip diet she went through only made her more beautifully sexy each day; skinnier, prettier and harder to resist.

Mary Sue wished that she could go to the Naruto World each birthday, but she had to raise money for a birthday cake herself because both of her parents suxed lotz. Since she was so humbly poor, but lived in a giant mansion palace with a french butler, she had to do many odd jobs such as prostitution, computer hacking, posing for pornos and writing bad fanfictions. It wasn't until her sixteenth birthday, when a mystic spell-binding old guardian with coke bottle glasses and a bright navajo white rob sent her on a flying comet, down a hole and into a warp tunnel into the Naruto World.

**OMFG I'm in Naruto World! KOOL-aid buahaha O.O**

**M**ary sat in a deep dark russet dungeon all by her lonesome self. But she wasn't ascaredy cat because she had the power of the Shikkon Jewel, a pocket sized vanity mirror, and a night light held snuggly in her pocket for the ultimate protection. _'wowz my dreamzes came true!' _she thought to herself while scratching her **crotch **because she was a little itchy.

Mary quickly looked at the potato sack that was purposely put on by her perverted kidnappers. The sack was very tight and short. It fitted her curves oh so nicely, and made her boobs firm and busty. And since the dungeon was chilly, her petite tight nipples were going hay-wire. The hem of her clothing was so short that it revealed her butt and va-jay-jay, but thank god her skinny stomach wasn't showing. If her thin, ravishing, fine-looking belly was shone, her kidnappers could possibly molest her.

-bang bang- Looking up at the prison door, Mary was pierced in the eyes by a white ray of light. The door was opening, and her dreamiest obsessions in the world, Kakashi Hatake and Sasuke Uchiha suddenly walked in breaking the rope bound around her splendiferous, exquisite body.

**Eeeek lyke KaKashi's HAWT!! CheeeZE234**

**"Y**ou're even more smexxay in person!" squealed Mary who was already foaming at the mouth because she had a rare wolf demon trapped in her, and when hot men enter the room, her animal mating instinct would kick in. "Let's do it now! and have Kids and another awful sequel on how well our sex life is!" she panted while ripping off her clothes and revealing her naked body.

"The only reason this horrible fanfiction was created, was for the author to have virtual secks with her favorite fake character..duhzz!" Mary screamed while shaking her jublees left and right. A/N (_'i'm so fking horny ri8t now guyzzes, i'm seriously about ready to have some real secks with my stuffed elephant98989)_

Suddenly Mary was right in front of Hokage Kakashi, and Queen Sasuke.

"Where did you come from?" ordered Kakashi as he circled around the girl with a well-favored boddess. "Our handsome dead sexy Anbu squad found your body in a heap of bondie-blue roses, deep fuchsia panda lilies, shimmering saffron carnations, burnt cardinal snap-dragons, rare ruby poinsettias, purple periwinkle poppies, and sparkling jasmine sunflowers. You were completely unconscious."

"Well if you may know, kind sir." said Mary while frolicking along the walls of the prison doors. "On my sixteenth birthday a mystic spell-binding old guardian with coke bottle glasses and a bright white rob sent me on a flying comet, down a hole and into a warp tunnel into the Naruto World."

Suddenly Mary began to sing with her angelically beautiful voice Kelly Clarkson's, Miss Independent.

"You flew on a comet, down a hole and into a warp tunnel?" said Kakashi wide eyed, "You must be a Mary Sue!!"

With that Sasuke stabbed Mary in the chest like a shish kabob, and she died.

The End

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If it wasn't for the Goddess, Nepton Sparkle Butt who gave me the powers to write this pathetic story, I would have probably jumped off a cliff years ago. This horrible story took me almost a full days worth to write because of all the scenic, picturesque, and bothersome detail I just had to describe.  
_Please Review :)_


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